As most of you know by now, I’ve spent a great deal of time struggling to find this happy medium between being a bad ass business woman and award-winning housewife. I feel, for the first time in female history, my generation has the privilege to choose the path that best suits them — yes, even being a stay-at-home mom (feminists). That choice comes with its own set of emotions that make any sane woman seem like a bi-polar nightmare. And that’s why “Wonder Woman Has Issues” exists. We’re smart, capable, talented women who can pretty much rock ANY career we get our hands on. But there’s an equal piece of us that wants to raise a family, be good wives and host killer parties with the cutest 50s apron we can get our hands on. In generations past, it has either been one or the other or worse … a feeling that we should do both at 100%. There’s a group of us that feel neither of those options is for us. That, perhaps, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. That, perhaps, we’re going to have to create a path that works for us as individuals.
My friend Bree is doing just that. She’s right there with the rest of us … wondering what the hell it’s going to look like in the end. She’s there grappling with the same internal dichotomy of craving a successful career and desperately wanting to raise a family with her husband. I met Bree when I first moved to L.A. She was a student in the MBA program I worked for. My initial reaction to her: “I need to move out of this girl’s way, let her take the lead and then follow her like a little dough-eyed puppy.” She’s powerful. Influential. Kind. Generous. Ambitious. And she’s here with us today! YESSSS! Say hello to Bree in the comment section and give her some love will ya?
(photo credit: MarieSam Sanchez Photography)
I am Woman, Hear Me Roar… I am Woman, Try My Braised Short Ribs
I am woman, hear me roar is the first verse to Helen Reddy’s hit song from the mid 1970s. Helen said there were no other songs about how she felt to be a woman at that time, so she decided to write one. As a 20-something year-old woman I am still figuring out my song because I’m not sure if I want to roar or if I want to bake.
As Krysta puts it–I am badass. I own my own business with my mom and sisters and have a growing career as real estate broker. Our business roars! I think I am or at least still claim to be a newlywed…You are a newlywed for three years, right? My amazing husband and I will be celebrating our two-year anniversary in April. I love my role as a wifey and secretly can’t wait to pop out a baby or two, but I also love having my own career and my own identity in the big bad world of business.
Coming from a family of all sisters, my parents told us to leave the boys alone, get an education and become a professional, so that is what I did. Oh wait…did you feel that? The feeling of being torn in what seems like two different directions. As I got older and into my womanhood things started happening in my life and the inner battle between roaring woman and domestic diva started to bloom. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and a mother, so when I thought of a career I always weighed what that would be like when I got married and had children. I remember having quite the breakdown in college when I told myself that I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too. I talked myself out of going to law school because the life of an attorney plus mother seemed too hard for me. I told myself I could not be a Gloria Allred or Condi Rice if I also wanted to be a full-time mother. I dealt with the choice by deciding to choose one over the other, and not both.
Fast-forward 6 years and the inner battle is still pushing me around. Now that I am married I am really looking forward to children and staying home to nurture them the same way my mother stayed home with me. On the other hand, I am building up my career as a businesswoman and enjoy finding ways to impacting my community and building my company up to be the powerhouse it deserves to be. I don’t see myself stepping down from my businesswoman podium so easily anymore. Now I see myself attempting to do both or some form of both by creating a personal balance. Luckily my career path allows me to work from home, so there is a post-motherhood option. Another option is to hire a full-time assistant to relieve me of the time consuming tedious parts of work. I think about these options pre-motherhood, but I have no idea if it will work and still weigh giving it all up.
Every once in a while I ask myself, “Self, are you willing to say okay career, you were real and you were fun, but I have short ribs to braise and diapers to change?” Yes…No…Yes! Even though my new plan is to try to keep a career while starting a family, every yes means I am ready and every no means I am not ready. Right now I am not ready. I am close, but not quite there yet
When I do pop out my twin babies (kind of hoping for a two for one deal) I will just take it a day at a time. I will practice my own unique balance of life because we all realize there is no perfect manual to balance being a woman. Plus, just as the times have changed any manual would also change or be oh-so out dated.
I make amazing food, I have a knack for decorating and entertaining and I’m hoping I’ll be a pretty awesome mother. I also love my job, know a sales contract like the back of my hand and can put any buyer or seller at ease during a roller coaster transaction. So for now I press on feeling like anything is possible. For now I will just have to bake that cake and eat it when I can. We are woman and we roar with different tones and volumes, but all the while we remain strong and we remain ferocious.